Tuesday, November 7, 2017

All about my knees...

This is making me cranky.
  • Still afraid to exercise. Walking is even iffy, since I never know when my knee is going to go funny.
  • Made a doctor's appointment.
  • Have adjusted my chair and keyboard tray at work so that they are in the lowest position and I am trying to sit with my feet flat on the floor (Am very short. Hate sitting down that low. Feel like a child sitting at the grown-up table).
  • I am a person with a large shoe collection. Surprisingly, I have very few flat, supportive type shoes that are not casual/athletic looking. Went shoe shopping on the weekend, even though I am the last person one would describe as "in need of new shoes." Bought 2 new pairs of Naots that should be okay with dress trousers (as opposed to jeans). Looked around a lot, and tried on a bunch, but Naots have never let me down in the past. I may also have tried on a pair of Fly London heels because I fell in love with them; they did not have the right size in the store; I then hunted them down online and ordered...Stubbornly optimistic about knee recovery.
  • If not exercising, should probably start paying more attention to what I am eating... :(
  •  Am now sleeping with a pillow under my knees because it is the only way I can get comfortable. Already had three pillows on my side of the bed (so I can sit comfortably to read before I sleep) which makes Husband shake his head; this brings the total of JavaChick required pillows to four.

 I am to young for this. Right?

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

One Year

Yesterday was one year since we lost Zappa. One year without my Fabulous Felines. Still sad, in all honesty, but at least I am back to myself (or mostly anyway). Trying not to dwell on it, but it has been popping up in my mind whether I want it to or not. I've been missing Zappa hugs lately; he was really good at that.

My knee, which I thought was getting better, is worse again. Probably my own fault for wearing heels the past two days at work, but I am getting bored wearing the same two pairs of shoes...So still afraid to actually work out. I keep meaning to google 'exercises to strengthen muscles around knee.' Suppose I'm getting to the point where I should maybe see a doctor or something. I just hate going and trying to explain what's wrong.

Definitely starting to feel like fall. Starting to cool off, and I've been noticing it smells like fall; when I take Isabelle out in the yard, I can smell the leaves on the ground, and whiffs of evergreen.

Still, there is my brave little rose bush...

And interesting things to see, now that the leaves have fallen from the trees...

And that's about it for the moment. Short one tonight, it's late and I need to take myself off to bed, but somehow I just needed to post this.

This is why I don't blog much these days...By the time I actually manage to sit down at the computer, it's late and I'm tired, and while I have a vague notion of why I wanted to write a post, I can't seem to put it all together.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

This Is Now

Busy, busy summer. Lots of fun stuff, but also some stress and exhaustion. Have been waiting for things to calm down and get back to "normal"...and am now coming to accept the fact that "normal" at the moment does not mean back to the previous status quo. This has thrown me a bit.

....Adjusting...Please Wait....

I adore my new kitty, and would not give her back for anything. But. She is full of energy and mischief. She needs exercise and entertainment. She loves to go outside. She can climb the fence like nobody's business.

Enter the conversations re: "We have to install the cat fence conversion like we should have done in the first place." My wonderful Dad offered to install it for us, all we had to do was get it ordered...And certain persons in this house have been dragging their feet about the whole thing.

I was really counting on having it done this fall, but it has become clear that is not going to happen. Cue JavaChick feeling the urge to spiral into despair.

Basically, the time that I would normally have used to for workouts during the week is being used to supervise Isabelle's yard time. I can't even do anything while out in the yard, because I have to follow her around to make sure she doesn't go over the fence. And I'm so frustrated because I wanted this fixed. I'm mad at myself because I should have kicked up a fuss about it, but that is not my way; I don't like to push.

I found myself thinking: How am I going to manage to keep on like this all winter?

Well...the answer is that I will because I have to.

I can hope that Isabelle will calm down somewhat, that she will not want to go out as much as the weather turns colder, wetter, snowier... Experience with my previous cats tells me that is not likely, but I can hope. :)

So, I think to address the workout situation:
  1. Pull out the shorter circuit training DVDs again, and alternate the uppper/lower workouts so it should only be 15 - 20 minutes. I was really hoping to continue with Pump and Chalean Extreme, but you do what you have to do.
  2. Take advantage of weekends; should be able to get in at least one longer workout on the weekend.
  3. Make sure I take a walking break during my work day (this has disappeared from my daily schedule again).

As for keeping a grip on my sanity...That was always a bit of a dream anyway, right? My husband would probably say it's already long gone.

I really want to start painting again; not sure how that's going to work with a kitten around.

Company this weekend, so will be busy with that...After this though, we should be back to "normal" for a little while.

Where has this year gone?

And P.S. since I never got around to publishing this post:
Hurt my knee again. I think I strained it Thursday last week, stumbling over uneven ground and trying to put holes in sod at a volunteering event. Then was on my feet all day Friday, and there was an incident of banging my knee with a 10 lb barbell plate...It would really help if I would stop banging up my knees. I actually do worry about being healthy as I age; at this rate I won't be able to walk by the time I retire. 

 What to do when your cat won't wear her cone after surgery.

It was amusing while it lasted. :)

Answer to the painting slump...Small paintings that take less time and will hopefully get me going again. Following along in a book for now, but it has only taken one quick painting for me to start coming up with ideas...

Monday, September 4, 2017

End of Vacation Blues

I had a super fabulous vacation running around Nova Scotia with my family for 2 weeks. We didn't get to do everything that we would have liked - amazing how two weeks can fly by - but we had a good mix of sight seeing and time hanging out at home.

There was lots of food and drink, but also lots of walking, some swimming and of course laughing with the family. It was hard to come home.

Things have been really busy since I got home as well - had company the weekend I arrived home, and week of work, and then this weekend 2 dinners + a brunch out with friends and an overnight guest one night. Good times with friends and family, so no complaining, but I could use a little down time.

I had good intentions going back to work last week, but I was missing my family and it was hard to go back to the grind; then I ended up getting sick. So, here's hoping this week goes better.

I had both slow cookers going today. Our fridge and freezer are stocked with easy meals for the week. I am vowing to stay away from those Peek Frean cookies that they've started stocking in the kitchen at work. I will get in my walking breaks at work, and hopefully get a few workouts in this week. Honestly still not feeling 100%, but feeling ready to ease back into things.

Even if I'd rather still be on vacation...

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Summer Fun

I started a post three weeks ago now and didn't finish. It was getting too long and maybe sounding like a bunch of complaining, which is not what I was meaning to do....I think I was feeling tired and overwhelmed. I love summer! But it can be a busy time - this year seems more so than usual. So I will try to sum up...

Is a lovely kitten! She loves to go outside. She loves to sleep on my laptop keyboard, unfortunately, meaning I'm spending less time on my computer these days (maybe not so bad, but sometimes makes it hard to get things done). Also loves to wake me up my licking my face and biting my nose AT 4:30 FREAKING AM. You know, losing Frank and Zappa broke my heart into tiny pieces, and I missed my cats so much...But I gotta admit; the sleeping through the night thing was pretty nice.

Is getting braver! With this newly gained bravery, she is showing herself to be a rather demanding cat. She wants attention. I have no problem with this. I have cat love to share with all my kitties! Unfortunately, she's so persnickety about how she wants this attention to be dispensed; namely, she wants me to sit on the floor in the basement and hang out with her. I can only do so much of that. I am trying to encourage her to hang out with us upstairs, but this leads to her sometimes chasing after Isabelle which is not so good.

Sigh. Crazy cat lady problems.

Busy Busy Summer!
Trips scheduled once a month from June through to September! Most are weekenders, but one longer trip in August when both my sisters are coming home. So happy about this visit, but also apprehensive about being away for 2-ish weeks. I am such a homebody. Also, my vacation time is pretty much all spoken for. I shouldn't complain; I am fortunate in the amount of vacation time I have...But I like knowing I have some extra should I feel the need for a day off here and there. Not having that causes me anxiety. I do have a couple of extra days and I am guarding those for emergencies.

I'm not really a good traveler...By which I mean the getting ready to go and the recovering when I get home. When I'm in the midst of the trip, I'm fine. But the days leading up to going stress me out, and when I get home I go to ground; homebody that I am, I just want to spend a couple of days curled up in my chair, soaking in the fact that I am back in my element.

I want to. I still find myself looking around; at the clouds in the sky, the beautiful blues and greens we see this time of year. I often look out at the view of the harbor from my desk at work and wish I could set myself up to paint right there. But it seems hard to find the time right now.

Healthy Living Goals
  • I somehow got out of the habit of tracking my workouts - I used to always write them down in a notebook - and I want/need to get back to that. 
  • Workouts were getting pretty erratic, and I finally decided I needed to switch things up. That helped, and I was starting to feel like I was back on track, then I got sick last weekend. Feeling better now, but then this morning managed to fall (again!) and bash up my knees (again!) on gravel. Honestly, I am my own worst enemy.
  • Eating, well, good days/bad days as usual. 
  • I kind of feel like I need to make some radical changes. I always let myself put it off because I don't want to inconvenience Husband, but I need to try (again) to find a way to work around that...Or really, get Husband to go along with it; he could benefit just as much as I could.

And summer is almost half over already...Yikes.



View from my desk at work 

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Spring Cleaning

I know I have been complaining a lot here lately, dumping all my sadness, etc. I kind of feel bad about that! But I feel like it has to go somewhere...

Tuesday was one year since the day we lost Frank. And I still have October 31st coming up, the day we lost Zappa. Those were both very hard days/weeks for me, and while I am doing much better, there are still hard times. I don't feel like I really want to talk to people about it; in some cases because I feel like someone might not understand, in other cases because I don't want to overburden someone. But I do still feel the need to articulate my feelings now and then, and, oddly, I also want to remember it.  It's part of my life, and I know that memories can grow fuzzy and change over time...That is the main reason I keep blogging, I think; I like to be able to look back.

I am finally feeling better; all over that cough, the weather is improving - we've had a sunshine-y weekend which has been fabulous. I was looking at the calendar last night and I could not believe that it has only been two weeks since my over-booked Saturday on May 6th.

We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 week before last, which was a blast. We hardly ever go to the movies these days; we went with friends and had a great time. I had a chat with my manager at work this week that made me feel better about some things; not that anything is likely to change, but at least I know that I am not alone. Planning summer vacation with the family, plus some weekend trips in the summer and fall. It's been busy, but it's been good stuff.

I haven't had much time for painting lately...which may be partly due to the fact that I can't quite settle on what to do next. But I finally filled in the blank space at the bottom of my cloud practice piece from a month ago.

Last Friday, May 12, a little ball of sunshine was delivered to my house by a friend. Meet Isobel.

Seven weeks old, she hit the ground running as soon as she arrived, and she has not stopped since. Interesting times around here, for sure. It was sudden, in that I was not actively looking, but I think she is what I needed. I am simultaneously happy and other words, back to the cat-mom status quo.

At this point, I feel like I should share the fact that Isobel is not the only cat in the house at the moment. Not all that many people know this, but I took in a rescue that had nowhere else to go at the beginning of April. She actually arrived on April 1, and she was not at all happy to be here. It was not really mentioned until she was dropped off that she doesn't like people and she scratches. I can also tell you from experience that she bites.

This is Trixie:

It's been hard to get a good picture because she mostly hangs out in the basement. It has been a long road to get her to trust, but we're getting there. She's not too happy about the new addition, but I'm hoping she'll adjust. It took her about a month to warm up to me, so here's hoping...

Monday is Victoria Day, and I took Friday off work to give myself a 4 day weekend. It has been too long! Having some sunny days off with no obligations does a lot to improve my outlook on life.

I've been trying to get some spring cleaning done. We've been barbecuing and enjoying the sun. Playing with the kitten to tire her out (kittens are adorable, but I'm kind of looking forward to her growing into a lazy, sleepy cat).

 So that is life at the moment. It has been good to finally have a weekend where I have some energy, where I'm feeling rested and relaxed. The next set of problems will come along, no doubt, but for now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my long weekend.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Deep Breath

Well. That did not go as planned. 

Looking back at my last post, I had been struggling with getting back into my workout habit, and not feeling well. I was getting over one cold, Husband came down with a second cold, and you guessed it...I got sick again.

Had to go to Nova Scotia (while sick) and accompany Husband to see the eye specialist  (while sick), did enjoy a nice visit with family  (while sick), then head back home on Saturday so I could go to my last painting class (you guessed it - while sick). And I was still sick for a week after that. It is only the past week where the cough and rattle in my chest is pretty much gone. 

Saturday was a super busy day since I managed to overbook myself - volunteering Saturday morning (in the rain, praying that I wouldn't end up getting sick again), and painting event from 3-5 pm, in between that I went home to pick up Husband because it was also free comic book day, so a visit to our local comic book store was necessary. And then we went out to dinner.

Sunday I mostly took it easy and puttered around the house, but when Monday morning rolled around it really felt like I hadn't had a weekend.

And I was hoping to ease back into some workout this week, but it has ended up that we've had something going on every evening after work. Really abnormal for us.

Deep breath. 

Here's hoping that next week things will be back to normal.

I got to bed right on time last night - a few minutes early even. I don't remember a thing after I turned out the light and put my head down on the pillow. But it was so hard to wake up this morning. Maybe because it has been grey and rainy for the past couple of days. 

When I was in the shower I remembered a dream. Details of the beginning part are fuzzy; I was with my family, I was trying hard to wake up but I felt like I couldn't. Some obscure family member came to visit, and they or someone said that now I had to wake up, but it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I was in a car driving, with my Dad in the passenger seat telling me to do all kinds of crazy things; yes, drive through those bushes! Drive up the stairs! I was trying to step on the break pedal but it wasn't there or it wasn't working, and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. 

And finally, I was at home in my bedroom, lying on the bed with the sun shining through the window, and Frank was sleeping on top of me. And in my dream I thought: Frank can't ...Something, I'm not sure what, but in my dream I knew something wasn't right, but my dreaming mind came out with: " but he can still sleep with me."

This morning, in my still somewhat groggy state I remembered that, and puzzled over it for a short while, then moved on. It came back to me later today, and I felt sad because Frank can't sleep with me. Coming up on a year now actually. But slowly getting a bit easier.

From my last painting class. We went outdoors to paint. It was chilly, a grey, overcast kind of day. But it was an interesting experience.

Saturday morning at the park for the annual Walk for Autism. We were having a down pour, but people still showed up to walk. Then I went home and changed into dry clothes so I could get on with my day.

Painting event - Paint Your Pet. You send a picture (or pictures), they do the sketch for you, and you paint it.  It felt unfinished, it was a rush to get done (it always is for me), but it still makes me happy to look at a painting of Frank.