Let's Try This Again

[Part B]
I kept trying to write this post...Starting in March/April I think. I don't know how many times I started over; could just never manage to finish. Last time was in August, so I'm just going to hit publish with that date now and leave it. This has been a really hard year for me....And the 2016/2017 were rough as well, as I tried to deal with the loss of Frank & Zappa. Things have to get better from here?

Early April, 2018...

Well that totally didn't work!

What can I say? Still so exhausted, and then a couple of busy weeks, and then I got sick....

Towards the end of March there was actually a bit of yoga, and I started easing into Les Mills Pump again. I decided it was best to stick with something simple. So I've been doing the first Pump workout which is sort of the intro workout, and the shortest one - around 25 minutes I think? Using the lightest weights I can stand to use; sort of the opposite of what one usually aims for, but trying to give the knees an easy start.

So that seems to be going okay, and now I'm getting ready to go away for a week...So basically let's interrupt things again, and hope I don't wind up getting sick upon my return.

Haven't really been tracking things well. Will try to start again because I know it is useful for me to do that.

My work stress increased by a great big huge amount last week, due to a major [and unexpected] re-org. I already had vacation time booked, but ended up adding some extra days on to the front.

Work is constantly stressful these days as it is. I don't think I've been getting enough introvert time lately [I'm going to start calling it that because I don't know how else to describe it - I periodically need a bunch of time with no plans, no demands on me, and preferably a bit of solo time and since I used up all my vacation time on traveling and visiting last year, I am way below quota on the down time].

So I've been off work since end of day Thursday. I think I've been sleeping better, and am feeling less physically tired; still working through the mental and emotional stuff and honestly not so sure how that is going. This whole working for a living thing can really suck the life out of you.

Late May 2018...

Ha ha ha! Still totally not working!

I forgot I had started this post, and thought about deleting and starting over; I'm writing this mainly for me though, and this is how things were/are, so I decided to leave it. It will be a long post, but it's my blog after all.

I had a wonderful vacation. Quality time with my sisters. Explored Butchart Gardens and enjoyed their Afternoon Tea, Wandered Victoria. Saw Rod Stewart in Vancouver. Checked out Stormcrow Tavern. More family time. Actually came down with a cold during my vacation, but didn't let it spoil my trip.

Ended two weeks vacation in a much better frame of mind, more rested and balanced that I had felt in a long time.

Work...Well, it's still never going to be my happy place. It pays the bills and lets me sock away a bit for retirement, I get good vacation time and other benefits. We'll leave it at that.

Which brings us to now...Not so exhausted. Yay spring and more daylight! Makes such a huge difference for me. I still have no time for anything though. My lovely little Isabelle wants to be outside all the time, but if she's outside, I have to be outside. Not that I don't enjoy the out doors time, I've been spending a lot of time in the garden (though somewhat slow going, as I am having to constantly check on where Isabelle is), but I'm not getting much of the indoor stuff accomplished. Oh well, who needs a tidy, uncluttered house anyway? And yes, I am the human, I do not have to give in to the cat (Ha!), but she gets all wild and fractious if she doesn't get outside to burn of some energy.

It looks like we are finally going to get moving on converting our fence (which was the deal we made when I agreed to go with a chain link fence back in 2014) . If all goes according to plan, we should be back to have a fence that will keep the cat in and the deer out. So I get my life back, and get to have a garden again. Dreams, people, maybe they can come true now and then.

Even assuming we do get the work on the fence completed, I expect I will still be spending a lot of time outside for a while, to make sure that it is cat proof. But still...my reprieve is in sight.

So it will probably be autumn, at the earliest, before I get back to a semi-normal exercise routine. I have always been less likely to do formal workouts this time of year anyway, since I'd rather take advantage of the nice weather while it's here.

Try, and try again

[Part A]
I kept trying to write this post...Starting in March/April I think. I don't know how many times I started over; could just never manage to finish. Last time was in August, so I'm just going to hit publish with that date now and leave it. This has been a really hard year for me....And the 2016/2017 were rough as well, as I tried to deal with the loss of Frank & Zappa. Things have to get better from here?

I keep trying to write a post and not getting it finished. It just keeps getting too long, for one thing. So here I go again, trying to keep from going off into the weeds...

This winter/early spring were really hard on me. I was exhausted all the time, and super stressed by work stuff. Coming home from work and then having to take Isabelle outside; otherwise she would get fractious. I couldn't do much of anything, just have to follow Isabelle around the yard to make sure she didn't go over the fence; that time of year can be wet, cold and windy. And it left me with less (sometimes no) time for other things which just added to my frustrations.

I was taking vitamins - D3, B12, an anti-stress remedy - to try and feel better. I remember wondering to Husband at one point; what do I need to do to stop feeling so crappy? He responded: Isn't that called spring?

End of March it all came to a crisis when there was a re-org announced at work, that just amped up my stress levels even more. We already had vacation planned for the second week in April, and after my manager suggested that maybe I needed some extra time off, I added on extra vacation days so that I had a week off at home before our trip.

Looking back now, I can say I was pretty much burned out. The extra time off, time to myself, definitely helped, as did our trip out to the west coast to visit my sisters (and see Rod Stewart in concert). I'm still not happy with how things have changed at work, but I don't feel like I'm ready to go to pieces, which is how I was feeling before.

In May, I started picking away at doing things in the garden, so at least while I was on Isabelle duty I could keep myself busy (an then chase after her if she went over the fence while I wasn't looking).

The days got longer, and I started feeling better. Husband was so right about that. Some years are worse than others for that, and this was a bad one. But, aside from a cold June, we have been having a beautiful summer. Our fence is finally fixed up, which means Isabelle can have more outdoors time and I don't have to be out there following her around. And the extra bonus for me: I can actually have a garden again.

I've spent a fair amount of time outside this spring and summer, and energy-wise I've been feeling decent.

We don't have quite so many trips away planned for this year, so I've been able to have some extra long weekends at home, which helps a lot. I've still got  a lot of stuff around the house to catch up on, but I've been picking away at some. And formal workouts are still not happening. I'm not worrying about it too much, better to take advantage of the good weather while it lasts.

We do have another vacation coming up soon, which will be a trip home, and looking forward to it.