JavaChick's Blog: September

September always feels like the beginning of the end to me....summer winding down, the year winding down, days getting shorter, weather getting colder...I guess until I hit that point where I'm starting to look forward to spring again.

This summer has been...quiet and I guess also busy at the same time? I've been tired a lot. We've been working on stress-inducing projects at work. I'm still having a hard time with losing Frank.

I had another dream about Frank a few weeks back. Husband had to go away for a conference. I was kind of looking forward to some time to myself and had god intentions to get some things done, but I ended up feeling so tired. Anyway, Husband left on Sunday, and I think it was Monday night/waking up Tuesday morning that I dreamed I was going camping with my parents; I was meeting them at the campground, and when I got there they had Frank with them and I thought well that's kind of odd, we hardly ever take the cats camping (try NEVER). But somehow it was plausible that they had Frank, like they'd been taking care of him, and I just thought it was unusual to bring him to the campground. Anyway, they are all nonchalont about it, and I'm all "be careful! watch him!" thinking I didn't want him to get lost, we had to take care of him because we didn't know how long we'd have him. Anyway, at the end of the dream Frank stretched up his paws to me like he wanted me to pick him up and give him a hug and then I woke up enough to realize I was dreaming and I was going to cry so I went back to sleep and overslept. Had to rush out the door to get to work that morning, and the feeling stayed with me for a couple of days.

Zappa had his yearly check up at the beginning of August, and the vet did blood tests and discovered his thyroid levels were off, so he's on medication now and we've been back to the vet a couple of times to make sure everything is okay. Yesterday the vet said she felt better because he's gaining some weight again, she was concerned that he hadn't at first, and considering what happened with Frank. I've been trying not to think about it...That if only we'd had Frank checked out maybe there was something they could have detected and treated...But nothing had seemed off; then hearing the vet say that brought it all back...If only...

I don't want to sound like I'm walking around miserable all the time, because I'm not. I don't ever completely forget, there is something every day. A lot of days are okay; I accept that I still feel a little sad, and I carry on. Some days are just really hard. Maybe I am a total nutcase, but so be it.

So what else has been going on...I feel like I need to change the subject, change the mood.

It has been the summer of Fitbit and Pokemon Go; have been so tired recently that I haven't done much in the way of formal workouts, but at least I am walking most days. It's actually been good, the Pokemon thing has been getting me outside more and revisiting some of the nice spots that exist in the vicinity of my office.
I discovered Elizabeth Hunter thanks to Amy and I read all of the Irin Chronicles, then the Elemental series, and I actually just went back and read the Irin series again because I loved them that much. I did read some other stuff in between, mind you, but I really did enjoy that series.
We did go home to NS for a visit. It was busy as usual, dividing time between families. I spent an afternoon on my own with my family rambling around rocky beaches which I enjoyed a lot. No sisters home to visit this year, and I missed them, but things sound promising for next summer.
My parents and brother came to visit over the long weekend in September which was a treat, and also meant a pretty busy weekend. They brought lots of stuff from their garden (I am pretty much garden-less these days without my deer fence). Mom and I canned tomatoes which I will enjoy this winter. Dad and my brother worked on my garden shed. Mom and I did some shopping. We all went off to the park for a walk - the weather was beautiful all weekend.
The stress-inducing projects at work are not quite over...we will get through though.
I've had a couple more painting nights; one of these days I need to bite the bullet and get myself some painting supplies to play with at home.

Now I guess I am settling in for fall.

I had started doing the Chalean Extreme workout program, and was liking it a lot. Then I lost my momentum around mid-August; that would be when I was hit with the extreme tired. So would like to get going again with that, and I'm really trying to think what I can do about food; this summer has not been great, too much crappy food. Sometimes it feels really complicated, trying to mesh what I would like to be eating with what Husband wants to be eating, and then I'm tired and I can't be bothered...Anyway, I need to do something.

I need to stop waiting for things, and I just need to do; that is my mind set at the moment. Now I just have to figure out how to actually do that....

Zappa