The important thing is...

I can still smile, and it doesn't really take much to bring on that smile.

I still mean the rant. I'm still feeling the frustration. But I don't want to let it consume my mind.

So, here are a couple of things that made my day smile-worthy.

These are the shoes I wore today. A pair of brown flats that I bought at Winners a couple of years ago...



Every so often during the day, if my foot was positioned correctly, I could look down and see this:



I know, doesn't take much to get a smile out of me. Normally, I wear basic solid colour socks to work, but for some reason this morning, these appealed to me.




It also was a beautiful, sunny evening. We left work a little early, due to Husband still feeling under the weather. That meant I had a bit more evening to enjoy, which was nice. And, of course, I had my Fabulous Felines to enjoy the beautiful evening with!







So really, things aren't all that bad. Right?

...And a rant.

Last night got home from work and was starving, so I ended up eating most of a bag of Quaker Crispy Minis while getting supper ready. I did try not to go overboard - I ate some, then thought I should stop...so I left them alone for a bit, but then I still felt really hungry so I ate more. Could have been worse I guess - they are relatively low in calories, but it would have been better if I could have waited for supper. I think the soup at lunch is just not cutting it and I need to add something more to help keep me full. Today I have leftover noodles for lunch, so we'll see how that goes.

I have to confess that I am feeling very frustrated with this whole weight loss thing. I am trying so hard to make healthy food choices, to watch portions, to get regular exercise. I won't claim that I have done it all perfectly, but I think I've been putting in a good effort. And what do I get for all my hard work? The scale goes up.

The other day, out of curiosity, I averaged my weekly weigh-ins for Jan, Feb, Mar & April. Know what the averages say? That in 4 months I have lost about a pound. One whole pound.

I can deal with sticking to a diet, cutting out certain foods, restricting calories and all of that if I am seeing results. I could even deal with feeling hungry sometimes (though not starving, as I don't deal well with that - clearly demonstrated by last night's inhalation of Crispy Minis), as long as I am seeing results. But it seems like I'm not getting anywhere which makes it all feel pretty pointless.

I'm not giving up. I haven't quite reached the breaking point yet. But I am frustrated.

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Daily Record
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Weight: 143.8

BF: Steel cut oats, coffee w/cream
Lunch: Garlicky Peanut Noodles (leftover), grapes & apple slices
Snack: PC Vanilla Yogurt w/cranberry granola
Supper: salad, spaghetti

Workout: 35 mins treadmill with jogging intervals.
Upper Body Strength:
- 8 full push ups + 8 modified push ups X 2
- 12 single arm rows (14 lb) X 2
- 12 tricep kickbacks (7 lb) X 2
- 6 bicep curls (14 lb) + 6 bicep curls (10 lb) X 2
- 12 Military press (10 lb) X 2
- 12 side laterals (5 lb) X 2

More whining...

Honestly, not sure what's wrong with me these days. Last week I just felt "off" somehow. Not sick exactly, but not my usual self. Kinda tired, muscle & joint aches, weird tummy...but all mild. Nothing really serious.

So, that's why I took the weekend off and didn't do much. I figured I just needed to rest up.

But I am still feeling just wiped out and I don't know why. I really had to force myself to walk on the treadmill last night. I kept it to a slow pace and it was still exhausting. Yesterday, I thought it was the dreary weather. Today is sunny, but I still feel blah.

Husband has managed to come down with some sort of flu or something. Maybe I am fighting that off. It's hard to know what to do - push through, do some light exercise anyway? Or just take it easy for a few days?

And the scale is way up this morning which is hugely frustrating. May be water retention from too much sodium though. We have made recipes from the Martin Yan cookbook the past two nights. I really like the cookbook - the recipes are quick to prepare and the results are tasty - but I do find them quite salty. I always notice that I'm really thirsty later in the evening.

Edit - 2:15 PM
Weird craving of the day: coconut cream pie. Specifically my homemade coconut cream pie - I'm very fussy about this. Sadly, I never make it because Husband is not a fan and I would have to eat the whole pie myself...Mmmm...Pie...

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Daily Record
---------------------------
Weight: 144.2

BF: Steel cut oats, coffee w/cream
Snack: Quaker Crispy Delights Cinnamon Streusel (90 cals)
Lunch: Minestrone Soup
Snack: Vanilla yogurt & raspberries
Pre-Dinner snack: Quaker Crispy Minis (was starving when I got home)
Supper: Cantonese Shrimp Scramble & Garlicky Peanut Noodles

Workout: Yoga
Also, drove myself to work today as Husband was home sick,
so in addition to my usual afternoon walk, I walked to &
from the parking garage.

Monday Blues...

It's a grey, rainy day. It's cold in the office. It's Monday. Wah!

Thinking longingly of the hour or so that I spent reading on the couch yesterday, cuddled up with both cats. Just try being cold when you have two cats sitting on you. So glad I brought soup for lunch today - I think it is helping to warm me up.

Weekend was relaxing. I really didn't do much. I was feeling like I needed a break. So, no exercise other than doing some weeding yesterday in the afternoon. Food-wise, well, I enjoyed quite a few of those chocolates that I received as a birthday gift last week. Also, Husband brought a bag of potato chips home. I have zero will power when it comes to potato chips. But, I had him put some in a bowl for me and he took the rest of the bag into his computer room. I ate my bowl full, and that was it.

I did make a pot of soup to freeze for lunches on Saturday. Yesterday I made up a batch of steel cut oats for breakfasts. So I am more or less armed for the week. Hopefully I will also get back into exercise mode.

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Daily Record
--------------------------
Weight: 143.6

BF: Steel cut oats, coffee w/cream
Lunch: Minestrone Soup
Snack: Yogurt & raspberries, Oreo 100 Calorie Pack
Supper: Great Wall Hoisin Pizza (Martin Yan cookbook)

Workout: 60 min slow walk on treadmill

And back up we go...

Weigh In: 142.7 (+0.9 lb)

These ups and downs can really get to a person. Still, I know I didn't have the best week and I am determined to do better.

I only got in 4 workouts this week (usually I do 5, often 6). 265 minutes spent exercising, 8.80 miles walked. So I ate more and exercised less over this past week. Guess I can't complain about a bit of a gain.

I had good intentions to start off my week. I usually buy lunch on Friday's, as a change of pace, but I still had hummus, pita bread and cut-up cauliflower left in the fridge. After the Tostitos Monday night, and eating out on Tuesday night, I figured I would brown bag it again today. That was the intention.

Good news - our company won a local award for "Most Promising Start Up Company" last night. Bad news - to celebrate, we had pizza for lunch.

I did munch on my raw cauliflower this morning. But then I had 4 garlic fingers, 1 slice of pizza (Hawaiian), and 1 can of Coke for lunch. It was good, but I felt very full after. Also sleepy. Loooonnnngggg afternoon.

I did get in a walk on the treadmill tonight after work - Friday is usually a day off from exercise, but I figured I'd get a head start on the week. I'm feeling it a bit though, so I'm not sure it was a good idea.

Now I'm ready to crawl in bed a read for a while. Seems like a good way to start the weekend.

Personal diet rules

On Fridays, our Project Manager will usually bring in Timbits (for anyone unfamiliar with Tim Horton's, timbit=donut hole) and muffins. I rarely go to Tim Horton's, and to be honest I don't much care for their baked goods. Except for the chocolate chip muffins (hello! chocolate chips) and the jelly filled timbits. Mostly, I manage to avoid the muffins because I know that I've eaten breakfast and I don't need it. But those timbits look so small and innocent.

Usually the boxes of goodies start out in the meeting room (for our Friday morning meeting), then end up in the kitchen. Last week for some reason, they were sitting on the desk right beside mine. All day. One of my co-workers who works in a different room had been in and out a few times, and finally remarked that she didn't know how I could sit here next to the box and not be eating them all day (or at least until they are gone). I replied that I will only eat the ones that are my favourite, after that I leave the box alone. That is sort of a self-imposed rule. Because otherwise I could quite easily find myself munching on them all day long. And, for the most part, not really enjoying them that much. So how is that worth it?

I have a few of these "Personal Diet Rules", such as:
1. Only eat the jelly filled donut holes
2. When work provides pizza lunches with cans of pop as beverages, I will only drink pop if there is Coke. Coca-Cola is my favourite soft drink, and if I'm going to have a soft drink, it will be the one I really like. If there is no Coke, I stick to water.
3. My two flavours of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I'm actually not a big ice cream person, but I do love Ben & Jerry's. They have two coffee-with-chocolate flavoured ones that I really love (cause, really, the only thing better than chocolate or coffee is chocolate and coffee). So when I'm walking by the ice cream case, and I find myself looking, I keep right on going unless I see one of my two faves (which hardly ever happens).

What about you? Do you have any personal rules around what treats are worth splurging on and what treats are not?

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Daily Record
------------------------
Weight: 143.2

BF: Fibre 1 granola bar, coffee w/cream
Lunch: raw cauliflower, ww pita, hummus
Snack: vanilla yogurt w/raspberries
Supper: salad, spanish rice

Workout: Stability Ball DVD (30 mins), 40 minutes Treadmill

Wednesday

Ok, I had good intentions for writing an interesting post today, but it's late, I'm tired, and I have to get up earlier than usual tomorrow because Husband is dropping the car off at the dealer at 8:00 AM, which means he will be dropping me off at work earlier than that.

At the moment, I just can think coherently. So that's two short, pointless posts in a row. I'll try to do better tomorrow, I promise.

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Daily Record
-----------------------------
Weight: 142.7 lb

BF: Kashi Granola Bar, coffee w/cream
Lunch: Yellow Curry & Rice (leftovers from last night)
Snack: PC Yogurt & granola
Supper: salad, spaghetti

Workout: 60 minutes on the treadmill