Thursday, August 2, 2018

Try, and try again

[Part A]
I kept trying to write this post...Starting in March/April I think. I don't know how many times I started over; could just never manage to finish. Last time was in August, so I'm just going to hit publish with that date now and leave it. This has been a really hard year for me....And the 2016/2017 were rough as well, as I tried to deal with the loss of Frank & Zappa. Things have to get better from here?

I keep trying to write a post and not getting it finished. It just keeps getting too long, for one thing. So here I go again, trying to keep from going off into the weeds...

This winter/early spring were really hard on me. I was exhausted all the time, and super stressed by work stuff. Coming home from work and then having to take Isabelle outside; otherwise she would get fractious. I couldn't do much of anything, just have to follow Isabelle around the yard to make sure she didn't go over the fence; that time of year can be wet, cold and windy. And it left me with less (sometimes no) time for other things which just added to my frustrations.

I was taking vitamins - D3, B12, an anti-stress remedy - to try and feel better. I remember wondering to Husband at one point; what do I need to do to stop feeling so crappy? He responded: Isn't that called spring?

End of March it all came to a crisis when there was a re-org announced at work, that just amped up my stress levels even more. We already had vacation planned for the second week in April, and after my manager suggested that maybe I needed some extra time off, I added on extra vacation days so that I had a week off at home before our trip.

Looking back now, I can say I was pretty much burned out. The extra time off, time to myself, definitely helped, as did our trip out to the west coast to visit my sisters (and see Rod Stewart in concert). I'm still not happy with how things have changed at work, but I don't feel like I'm ready to go to pieces, which is how I was feeling before.

In May, I started picking away at doing things in the garden, so at least while I was on Isabelle duty I could keep myself busy (an then chase after her if she went over the fence while I wasn't looking).

The days got longer, and I started feeling better. Husband was so right about that. Some years are worse than others for that, and this was a bad one. But, aside from a cold June, we have been having a beautiful summer. Our fence is finally fixed up, which means Isabelle can have more outdoors time and I don't have to be out there following her around. And the extra bonus for me: I can actually have a garden again.

I've spent a fair amount of time outside this spring and summer, and energy-wise I've been feeling decent.

We don't have quite so many trips away planned for this year, so I've been able to have some extra long weekends at home, which helps a lot. I've still got  a lot of stuff around the house to catch up on, but I've been picking away at some. And formal workouts are still not happening. I'm not worrying about it too much, better to take advantage of the good weather while it lasts.

We do have another vacation coming up soon, which will be a trip home, and looking forward to it.

1 comment:

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