Old School

Friday morning we woke up to above 0C temperatures and rain. By midday, the temperature had dropped back down below freezing and it was snowing. As you can imagine, that made for a bit of a mess. Buses were pulled from the roads, businesses were closing for the day; I was already working at home, but Husband actually came home early.

Back in November, a friend sent me a link to Japan Crate which is one of those monthly subscription box services. They were offering a special Holiday box, so I ordered it for Husband. The shipping was estimated to be 4-6 weeks, and it shipped Dec 4, so I was figuring it would show up some time in January.

Finally arrived on Friday. Yep, February 2. Almost a full 2 months.

But on the up side, it was a nice surprise for Husband, arriving home on a stormy afternoon.

And Isabelle enjoyed the box.

Trixie just really enjoys our wool rug.

Anyway, yesterday was -18C, with a wind chill of -30, so we decided not to go out, and put off shopping until today...Which has turned out to be a messy, rainy, snowy day and we have plenty of food to eat so who wants to leave the house anyway?

Last night we had one of our weekly Indian delivery dinners (a local entrepreneur delivers to workers at an office building in our neighborhood where two of our friends work, we got in on it and now he delivers to our house on Friday morning).

 Butter Paneer (Butter Chicken for Husband) and Rainbow Rice.

Slept in until around 8 am this morning, then stumbled out for coffee.

Was not the slightest bit hungry, so just served myself some blackberries to munch on while I relaxed for the morning.

Around 10:30 I decided it was time to get up and get some things done. I threw together a sweet potato and black bean mole (based on this recipe) and then it was noon and I was finally hungry. By this time, we had decided we could get by without going out for groceries today, since the weather is still not great, so I threw together some pasta for myself.

After lunch, some puttering around doing laundry and trying to de-clutter at bit (one of my biggest challenges).

And then I pretty much goofed off for the rest of the day, and I don't feel bad about it. I've been in the computer-gaming mood lately, so I indulged. It will wear off, and then I go back to other things.

Since we didn't end up going out for groceries, we ended up with sausage, eggs and hash browns for dinner. It was not really all that picturesque, so I didn't bother with a photo. It did the job. Now winding down and kind of looking forward to sleepy time (if not to the Monday morning that will follow...).

Can We Start Over? Part 2.

Nothing particularly exciting about yesterday; it was Friday and I was glad.

- JavaChick, Nov 21 2009

I went searching for an old recipe from my blog, and wound up whiling away a bunch of time reading posts from November 2009. Wow. I miss Blogger JavaChick, circa 2009.  I often feel like I have so much less energy than I used to; I've been telling myself I'm probably imagining that, but Nov 2009 JavaChick was getting things done. 

I've said this before, but one of the things I appreciate about blogging is the ability to go back and read old entries. I wish that I kept up with it better; recipes I had forgotten about, pictures of my Fabulous Felines - oh, how I miss them! - and remembering that I actually used to enjoy doing intervals on my treadmill. Honestly, I've never been a person who has a huge amount of energy, but compared to now, that girl seems like a go-getter.

The walk down memory lane was entertaining. The aftermath was a little bit of me thinking: "What's wrong with you? Why can't you be like that again?" 

But that is pointless. What was that New Year's Resolution again? Do the best I can, and don't beat up on myself (paraphrasing). I am feeling better than I was a month ago; I've rested up, the days are getting longer, I've started taking some vitamins and they're kicking in? Either way, things are looking better. So, looking forward...

Immediately after publishing my last post, I thought: "Okay, you've done your venting. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The very next day, I decided it was time to make friends with my treadmill again. and marched downstairs after work...To be confronted with the mess that my workout area has become. 

I had an afternoon off coming to me, so that Friday I took the afternoon and did some cleaning up down in the basement. I find I am always more motivated to go down there when things are at least somewhat tidy. Sadly, I ended up packing away the paintings I've had sitting up on the ledge down there. I put them up last fall I think? They were just leaning against the wall, but I have all these paintings, so I figured I might as well have some where I could see them. 

Then every once in a while I'd go down and find one had been knocked down (climbing felines, you know). Anyway, Isabelle knocked one down while I was down there cleaning up and actually knocked the wood framing a bit out of whack, so the painting is no longer flat. So I put them away, and now it looks bare down there; didn't realize how much of a difference it made until I took them down. I will have to see about putting up some picture hanging hooks.

Any-who, first step accomplished: I can actually access the treadmill. 

Of course, I then proceeded to avoid it until Thursday. I let myself have the rest of January, but now I'm giving myself a kick in the butt. 

We've been having a weird winter. It snows; it turns really freaking cold; it warms up and rains; all the snow disappears...and repeat.  Isabelle thinks she still wants to go outside, but on the cold, snowy days she usually doesn't make it far, or last very long outside.

But for now, the routine is still to come home and at least attempt to take Isabelle outside. Now that I have dug out my treadmill, I will attempt to add in some short walks...Partially to start getting in the habit again, and also because I want to see how my knee holds up. 

I've been doing well with bringing lunches to work, and allowing myself one day a week to buy lunch. I've been getting in my piano practice. We've been keeping the freezer well stocked with things we can come home and defrost for dinner.

Can We Start Over?

Dec 31, 2017
 
I still like my 2017 Resolution:

Keep doing what I know I can do, but do it better, and be kind to myself.

In all honesty, I feel like 2017 kicked my butt. Not that it was necessarily a bad year, but it was extremely busy and left me feeling overwhelmed.

I used most of my vacation time for going places. I feel like I should not complain about this because I know I get a good amount of vacation time - more than many people have available to them - and I really am thankful for that. And we did a lot of fun stuff; they were good trips. But this home-body-introvert likes to save a chunk of vacation time for spending quietly at home, doing her own thing, and she did not get it this year. Work seems to get busier and more stressful all the time. I didn't get to start my December vacation as early as I wanted because of the way project deadlines worked out. I was so desperately looking forward to vacation starting, and then it ended up being busy busy...Things that had to get done, but they weren't my things, not the things that I had been counting on doing....

So I had 3 days of rushing around, wishing I was doing different things, then we went home to visit family and I was probably not in the best frame of mind because I was tired and frustrated. We got delayed coming home because of weather. I was almost in tears on the way home, feeling tired and frustrated still/again. Husband said "Sleep in, tomorrow you will feel better."

I thought: "No I won't. That won't solve anything. I slept plenty while we were home."

Ha. He was right. Ssshhh. Don't tell him I said that....

The bed we were sleeping on while visiting home makes my back hurt. Amazing how much better you can feel after a night sleeping comfortably in your own bed.

I still haven't done the things I wanted to do, and at this point I can't even figure out where to start. I have spent the last two days doing not much. Recovering my equilibrium, I guess. Today I am finally feeling like I want to do things...sort of? It's our anniversary. Hey! Happy 16 years! We are going out to dinner. Early this year, so we will be home in our jammies well before midnight, I am sure. Sounds good to me.

I find myself feeling reflective, and thinking about what I want for the coming year.

There was lots of good stuff. There was lots of stress which is not so good. Things have been changing at work over the years, since our happy little company was acquired by a larger entity. We still have jobs; we have better perks now...But the day to day gets harder and harder. I feel like I need to get a better handle on dealing with stress.

Health-wise; I wish I could turn into an energetic, not tired person...But I don't think that is my physical makeup. That said, there have been some extra challenges with my knee being uncooperative, and I also feel like I need to get a better handle on my eating; I am not eating in the way that makes me feel my best and I need to make some changes there...even if it means I drag Husband along, kicking and screaming all the way.


Jan 21, 2018
...So I started writing this post on Dec 31, walked away to gather my thoughts a bit and here it is, weeks later...I'm not sure my thoughts are gathered yet.

Went back to work on Jan 2nd and jumped right back into craziness and my 'almost feeling like myself again' went back to exhausted.

I feel like I have not accomplished much.

• Still have not made a follow up doctor's appointment about my knee (I did go for x-rays, but need to go back and find out if they showed anything and if there are any next steps).
• I wanted to at least try to start doing some easy yoga, and get back to some short walking breaks at work, since it does seem like my knee is cooperating at the moment.
• I still have bunch of things to tackle at home. It's still hard to know where to start
•  I need to book vacation time and buy a plane ticket for a planned sister vacation this spring.

I don't know....I just feel like I should be doing things but the work week knocks me out and on the weekends I don't want to go anywhere or do much of anything. I suppose this is partly just winter.

So this is kind of a whiny, going nowhere post I guess? Somehow I need to get on the ball, pull up my socks, get my butt in gear and all that jazz.

I started taking B12 a little less that 2 weeks ago. My sister was talking about it, and I looked up the symptoms of B12 deficiency and felt like I was reading about myself. I don't tend to eat much meat, so it is probably something I should to doing. I do think I am feeling a bit better, so we shall see how it goes. When I bought the B12, I happened to see a natural remedy that's supposed to help with stress, so I'm giving that a try. I figure it can't hurt, right?

Thursday night/Friday morning I dreamed about Frank. It's been a while. In my dream, I was not at home, but I had Frank with me. So I was mostly carrying him around and holding him, because I didn't want him to get lost. Frank was always such a satisfying armful of cat. In my dream, I realized that I hadn't seen Frank in a while. I was all confused, trying to figure out why that would be so. Eventually, there was this little voice in my head reminding me: you don't have him anymore. Then I woke up and went and cried in the shower. While it's not weighing down on me the way it was for the first year or so, I do still feel sad when I think of Frank and Zappa, and I have felt it a little more so over the past couple of days.

But it helps to have this snuggly one.

On weekend mornings when I don't have to get up, she likes to come and sleep the extra hour or so with me. I love sleeping in while cuddling a cat.

We had some extremely cold weather for the first part of January. We had some snow. Last weekend it warmed up enough that all the snow was gone and it felt like spring. Isabelle and I enjoyed the interlude.

It snowed again around the middle of last week, it warmed up yesterday and the snow started to melt away a bit. Then colder again today and supposed to snow more starting tomorrow. Mother Nature can't make up her mind.

All about my knees...

This is making me cranky.

• Still afraid to exercise. Walking is even iffy, since I never know when my knee is going to go funny.
• Made a doctor's appointment.
• Have adjusted my chair and keyboard tray at work so that they are in the lowest position and I am trying to sit with my feet flat on the floor (Am very short. Hate sitting down that low. Feel like a child sitting at the grown-up table).
• I am a person with a large shoe collection. Surprisingly, I have very few flat, supportive type shoes that are not casual/athletic looking. Went shoe shopping on the weekend, even though I am the last person one would describe as "in need of new shoes." Bought 2 new pairs of Naots that should be okay with dress trousers (as opposed to jeans). Looked around a lot, and tried on a bunch, but Naots have never let me down in the past. I may also have tried on a pair of Fly London heels because I fell in love with them; they did not have the right size in the store; I then hunted them down online and ordered...Stubbornly optimistic about knee recovery.
• If not exercising, should probably start paying more attention to what I am eating... :(
•  Am now sleeping with a pillow under my knees because it is the only way I can get comfortable. Already had three pillows on my side of the bed (so I can sit comfortably to read before I sleep) which makes Husband shake his head; this brings the total of JavaChick required pillows to four.

 I am to young for this. Right?

One Year

Yesterday was one year since we lost Zappa. One year without my Fabulous Felines. Still sad, in all honesty, but at least I am back to myself (or mostly anyway). Trying not to dwell on it, but it has been popping up in my mind whether I want it to or not. I've been missing Zappa hugs lately; he was really good at that.

My knee, which I thought was getting better, is worse again. Probably my own fault for wearing heels the past two days at work, but I am getting bored wearing the same two pairs of shoes...So still afraid to actually work out. I keep meaning to google 'exercises to strengthen muscles around knee.' Suppose I'm getting to the point where I should maybe see a doctor or something. I just hate going and trying to explain what's wrong.

Definitely starting to feel like fall. Starting to cool off, and I've been noticing it smells like fall; when I take Isabelle out in the yard, I can smell the leaves on the ground, and whiffs of evergreen.

Still, there is my brave little rose bush...

And interesting things to see, now that the leaves have fallen from the trees...

And that's about it for the moment. Short one tonight, it's late and I need to take myself off to bed, but somehow I just needed to post this.

This is why I don't blog much these days...By the time I actually manage to sit down at the computer, it's late and I'm tired, and while I have a vague notion of why I wanted to write a post, I can't seem to put it all together.

This Is Now

Busy, busy summer. Lots of fun stuff, but also some stress and exhaustion. Have been waiting for things to calm down and get back to "normal"...and am now coming to accept the fact that "normal" at the moment does not mean back to the previous status quo. This has thrown me a bit.

....Adjusting...Please Wait....

I adore my new kitty, and would not give her back for anything. But. She is full of energy and mischief. She needs exercise and entertainment. She loves to go outside. She can climb the fence like nobody's business.

Enter the conversations re: "We have to install the cat fence conversion like we should have done in the first place." My wonderful Dad offered to install it for us, all we had to do was get it ordered...And certain persons in this house have been dragging their feet about the whole thing.

I was really counting on having it done this fall, but it has become clear that is not going to happen. Cue JavaChick feeling the urge to spiral into despair.

Basically, the time that I would normally have used to for workouts during the week is being used to supervise Isabelle's yard time. I can't even do anything while out in the yard, because I have to follow her around to make sure she doesn't go over the fence. And I'm so frustrated because I wanted this fixed. I'm mad at myself because I should have kicked up a fuss about it, but that is not my way; I don't like to push.

I found myself thinking: How am I going to manage to keep on like this all winter?

Well...the answer is that I will because I have to.

I can hope that Isabelle will calm down somewhat, that she will not want to go out as much as the weather turns colder, wetter, snowier... Experience with my previous cats tells me that is not likely, but I can hope. :)

So, I think to address the workout situation:

1. Pull out the shorter circuit training DVDs again, and alternate the uppper/lower workouts so it should only be 15 - 20 minutes. I was really hoping to continue with Pump and Chalean Extreme, but you do what you have to do.
2. Take advantage of weekends; should be able to get in at least one longer workout on the weekend.
3. Make sure I take a walking break during my work day (this has disappeared from my daily schedule again).

As for keeping a grip on my sanity...That was always a bit of a dream anyway, right? My husband would probably say it's already long gone.

I really want to start painting again; not sure how that's going to work with a kitten around.

Company this weekend, so will be busy with that...After this though, we should be back to "normal" for a little while.

Where has this year gone?

And P.S. since I never got around to publishing this post:
Hurt my knee again. I think I strained it Thursday last week, stumbling over uneven ground and trying to put holes in sod at a volunteering event. Then was on my feet all day Friday, and there was an incident of banging my knee with a 10 lb barbell plate...It would really help if I would stop banging up my knees. I actually do worry about being healthy as I age; at this rate I won't be able to walk by the time I retire. 

 What to do when your cat won't wear her cone after surgery.

It was amusing while it lasted. :)

Answer to the painting slump...Small paintings that take less time and will hopefully get me going again. Following along in a book for now, but it has only taken one quick painting for me to start coming up with ideas...

End of Vacation Blues

I had a super fabulous vacation running around Nova Scotia with my family for 2 weeks. We didn't get to do everything that we would have liked - amazing how two weeks can fly by - but we had a good mix of sight seeing and time hanging out at home.

There was lots of food and drink, but also lots of walking, some swimming and of course laughing with the family. It was hard to come home.

Things have been really busy since I got home as well - had company the weekend I arrived home, and week of work, and then this weekend 2 dinners + a brunch out with friends and an overnight guest one night. Good times with friends and family, so no complaining, but I could use a little down time.

I had good intentions going back to work last week, but I was missing my family and it was hard to go back to the grind; then I ended up getting sick. So, here's hoping this week goes better.

I had both slow cookers going today. Our fridge and freezer are stocked with easy meals for the week. I am vowing to stay away from those Peek Frean cookies that they've started stocking in the kitchen at work. I will get in my walking breaks at work, and hopefully get a few workouts in this week. Honestly still not feeling 100%, but feeling ready to ease back into things.

Even if I'd rather still be on vacation...